I don't know who Renee Swope is but I like her! Haha and I love this quote. I've had a screenshot of it sitting on my phone for the longest time and I wanted to wait until it really applied to me to post it here on the blog. I mean, of course I've always known it and felt that way but I wanted to wait until I could super extra crazy relate to it. And now I can!
Anyway, for this week's Monday Motivation post I thought I'd talk a little (or a lot) about marriage.
For the last...I don't know...few weeks? maybe 2 months? Tom and I have been in such a funk with each other. We love each other of course, and our marriage was never in danger or anything, but we were just in a funk! I'm sure if you've been married for a little while you understand what I mean. We actually went through the same kind of funk while we were engaged too. We were constantly frustrated with each other, annoyed, short with each other and everything of the sort. It really wasn't one particular thing that we could pin it on. I guess you could compare it to...say...when you play sports. Take soccer for example. You start out playing and you're pumped and motivated and full of energy! We've had many days like that in our marriage! Many! But then, later on toward the end of the game, no matter if you're winning or losing, you're tired. You want a break! (No, I'm not saying Tom and I need a break. Absolutely not!) But we needed to sit on the sidelines and regroup together. We needed a break TOGETHER.
A few days ago we finally had that break. I realized a couple of the things that were causing me to be in such bad spirits. My funk was affecting Tom and, in turn, he was...well...funky.
(Haha sorry...I couldn't resist. I love the word funky.)
We sat in bed and just hashed everything out. We worked through it all! At first I was dreading it. Couldn't we just ignore everything and go on? Couldn't we just skip this part and go on a date and pretend we aren't "funky"? Nope. We were oh so funky. We laughed, cried, talked about absolutely everything and in the end we fell asleep with happy tears running down our cheeks while we hugged each other. It was the best feeling on earth. For the first time in our 2.5 year marriage (plus 2.5 years of dating and engagement before that) we were completely transparent and open with the other about every last one of our feelings.
And you know what? For months and months and months I've been thinking to myself, "We really aren't great at communication. We really aren't. In fact, we absolutely suck. Absolutely. Suck." I told myself it would get better but I never told him that. I never communicated to Tom that I wanted our communication to get better so it never did. And you know what else? A few of my friends have recently gotten married and engaged. I've been trying to give them helpful suggestions (when they ask for them) about marriage. I keep telling them, "Communication is key! Communication is key!" because that's what everyone told us when we were engaged and newlyweds. But now, 2.5 years in and I was just talking the talk but not walking the walk.
We've learned the hard way that communication really is key. If you're feeling a certain way about your marriage or your spouse and it would be constructive to tell them about it and talk through it then PLEASE DO. It will make things so much better! We are so much happier and content in our marriage now. I couldn't be happier about our communication recently. It's a work in progress but hey, at least it's progressing!
Anyway, sorry for rambling so long! Haha this was supposed to be a quick little post but it turned into a monster. I really wanted to get my point across though.
I hope this helped you in some way! Try communicating better with your spouse and see how it changes your marriage for the better. And if you're engaged START NOW! Practice makes progress!
My name is Hannah and I'm a lucky wife to Tom, and mama bear to two sweet girls - Charlotte & Rosalie. Coffee, lipstick, sunshine, and dresses are some of my favorite things! I love to blog about God, motherhood, "wifeyhood", food, health and much more.
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