By: Devishobha Chandramouli from Kidskintha.com
Let’s admit it: making mom friends seems ridiculously hard. The breezy style with which you made friends when you were in school and college without batting an eyelid, suddenly seems like another lifetime.
It’s hard enough to have a sustainable support system for the kids; it’s unimaginable to strike friendships that are just that- breezy, sunny relationships.
Parenting in the millennial age is hard work. We want to do the best for our kids and like it or not- Mommyland can get totally lonely.
Here are 9 ways to make long-standing relationships with other moms
1. Look for opportunities actively
Make a real attempt to get to know the other moms as people.
In my daughter’s new school, I had no idea who to turn to for help. The school was huge and had its rules. So, I picked my daughter’s birthday as an opportunity to invite the kids in her class and their moms for a nice get-together. The event went better than I expected. I got included in a Whatsapp group and this group is the support group I turn to even before I turn to the doctor when my child gets sick.
2. Don’t make it all about your kid
Once you have made your friends, refrain from talking/bragging about your child. Even though you may not intend it to come out that way, hearing about your child all the time can get really annoying. Show a genuine interest in them and their lives. One word- listen.
3. Take it offline
Facebook has any number of parenting groups that can connect you to parents from all over the world. Making a tiny clique of that group for local geographies by arranging mommy meet-ups in a cozy cafe is a great way to connect with the neighbourhood moms.
Some apps like MomCo and other networks like NetMums are exclusively designed to help you find moms in your neighbourhood.
4. Exchange contact information
Knowing them on Facebook is one thing. Knowing them personally is another. Take this opportunity to exchange numbers, emails and even each other’s work and hobbies. It might open up doors to future opportunities and if not anything else, just a real support system.
5. Offer Value
Even though everyone in these meets will not turn out to be your best friend, showing your genuine side will help you gravitate towards other “like” moms. Finding mutual interests and values is simply a matter of time.
6. Don’t be a gossip monger
Whatever happens, refrain from being the one passing on the juicy bits. People are likely to feel safer around people who don’t discuss others’ lives, even if they are not the ones being discussed at the moment. Imagine the girl in class who took nobody’s side. That girl was everyone’s friend. Keep it totally objective.
7. Take the first step
After the meeting, you may be battling with “ Is-it-too-soon-to-call” situation. However, most friendships do not go beyond the first stage because nobody took the first step and it gradually drops off. Don't be embarrassed about making that connection. That’s the only way you’ll know if this will stick.
8. Don’t stick to specific groups
Your mommy friends could come from anywhere. Your reading circles, your gym class or even your workplace. Avoid closing out options because it doesn't seem to fit in specifically.
9. Make it about yourself too
These people could grow to be your friends for life. The friends that you make at this stage of your life might be the ones you will be drinking a margarita with at the age of 60. So, don’t restrict it to issues surrounding the baby. Talk about your life, interests, passions. Be yourself and don’t be afraid of being judged. And, oh, please don’t judge.
Devishobha is the founder of Kidskintha - a platform that addresses parenting issues of the millennia age to help raise emotionally robust, happy kids. She regularly lends her voice to the Huffington Post, SheKnows Experts, LifeHack and other publications. Follow her on Twitter and Facebook here. Grab her free eBook on “53 Hacks to Raising Happy Kids” here.
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